So, you’re on to baby number two. Having a new baby when you’ve already got one—or more!—can feel pretty overwhelming as you try to figure out how to juggle everything you need to do and try to make things as smooth as possible for your older child or children. Luckily, lots of people have been through this before, and they’re full of tips they either found helpful or wish they knew beforehand. We’ll go through some of them today – some may be useful, some may be less so, but they’ll at least give you an idea of what worked for others and where you might like to start.
Keep Your Older Children Involved
Having a new baby is a big change for your family dynamic, and that includes the children. They may be going from being an only child to becoming an older sibling, and getting used to that idea can often take time. This can start when you’re pregnant – keep them up to date with the changes happening and let them know what to expect. Ask them questions to find out what they would like to know – depending on their age, they may not quite have the ability to put into words the things they’re confused about, so keeping conversations going with them can help them feel more secure.
Once bubs does arrive, it’s not unusual for older siblings to be absolutely fascinated with everything that’s going on – and they very often want to help. Ask them to pass you a clean nappy during changing time, or get them to sing along with you if baby is a bit upset. Very simple tasks like this can go a long way to helping them feel included and, with luck, give them a head start on building a good sibling bond.
Pay Attention to Emotions
Of course, it’s not all sunshine with sibling relationships, regardless of age. Both parents keeping an eye out for signs of jealousy can give you a chance to head off any issues by talking to them, finding out what it is they’re worried about, and then doing something about it. If you think you won’t be able to deal with it alone, don’t be afraid to ask your family health professional for advice – it’s what they’re there for.
Make Time For Each Child
This can be easier said than done, especially in the early days, but it’s important all the same. Taking turns with your partner to spend time with each child and having as much time as a collective as possible can help your children feel more secure. Having a treat day – whipping up a quick fruit purée, then freezing it into an ice cream treat can be something simple yet fun, or maybe an afternoon spent outside hunting for the perfect pebble. Anything that lets you strengthen your bonds will be good for all of you.
Routines
Yep, it always comes back to routines, but when you’re dealing with more than one child, it can be even more of a lifesaver. Keeping your older child’s routine going or adapting it to fit in better with the new baby’s will make life a bit more predictable for all of you. Knowing roughly what’s coming next – interspersed with the occasional fun surprise – means toddlers and others will feel more settled, leading to a more pleasant time for all.
Be Flexible
With that said, having multiple kids makes it hard to actually stick to those routines sometimes. It’s not uncommon to just have to flag something because you don’t have the time – and that’s fine. As long as the kids are fed, clean, warm and loved, there’s no need for stress if your planned routine doesn’t quite pan out. Developing and maintaining a flexible mindset will help you get through those days without a build-up of worry. Remember – you can always reset tomorrow.
Big Kid Zones
Having a special area—if you have the space—just for the “big kids” can give them a space for time out, especially if they’re a little bit older. Have a space with their favourite toy or book or whatever activities give them the most peace. Having a Happii Bear Goody Pouch or two can give them a healthy treat while they’re making their space just how they like it.
Ask for Help
Help is going to be needed when you’re trying to deal with two or more children, especially when one is a newborn. This can be anything from helping with cooking, housework, or looking after the other little ones. Many families find it helpful during the early days, when you’re trying to get breastfeeding established, to have someone else—be that partner, grandparent, or other trusted adult—to spend a little more time with the older sibling/s. This lets them have special time while mum and baby get adjusted. Then, things can be swapped around a bit once things aren’t quite so hectic. Many parents find it useful to have a routine of expressing one feed so someone else can look after bubs. The Haakaa Gen 3 Silicone Breast Pump & Bottle Top Set makes this especially easy, as you can pump directly into the bottle. Simply swap the pump flange for the bottle teat, and you’re away. There’s no need to worry about spilling milk when transferring between pump and bottle!
There are, of course, so many other things that could help, and what exactly those are will depend on your circumstances. Chat with other parents you know who have more than one child to see what helped them and decide whether that would work for you. Parent groups can be incredibly helpful for this, as you may find you get a wide range of ideas, some of which you may not have ever considered before. What it all comes down to, though, is finding what works for you. These ideas are just suggestions that will hopefully get you started on your path!